see you next week
for the one who'll never read this
how do you wait with such grace
and let the room decide it’s yours
how do you hold such presence
and pause time and space
how do you hold a gaze
like your eyes held harder things
i see it in how you hold mine
and let them go without haste.
you’re a woman
who doesn’t need the look
or validation of a man
you’re a body
anyone orbits around
gravitas felt firsthand
how did you walk through the cold
and keep a fire in your bones
how do you take up so much room
in a poem you’ll never know?
you’re my gold light on a Friday.
my favourite novice backhand.
the flash of your eye
a silent, sharp demand.
i dreamt you kissed me twice
because you like to rhyme,
i dreamt your desire matched mine
and I rested my heart next to yours
beating slowly, our eyes closed.
i pretend i don’t want to speak
so i laugh, hug you and say
”see you next week”
Hi dear reader, this poem finally made it, after being in a draft for two weeks. I’m happy you took the time to read it.
This piece is about someone I’m heavily infatuated with, and I love for you all to be on this journey with me. Here are more posts on the Crush Chronicles.
this is cute, Jef. There are some GOLDEN lines in this.
Suggestions since you're new-ish: Use the "poetry" option when you're creating your post. This will keep all your spacing as you organize it.
That being said- play with spacing and have fun with it
Use the separator line if you want to transition tone.
If there are lines you really want to be a transition between tone for drama that almost seem like they don't fit the format, make it visibly representative that way the reader knows it's intentional
like
roses are red
violets are blue
-her lips, her eyes-
All I can think about
is you.
Lastly- a tip, reading it out loud and even recording yourself is a great way to check that the poem carried the tone and rhythm you want it to maintain. Do your best to structure the poem in a way that helps the reader pick up easily on the rhythm and have fun with it! This is also a great way to distinguish what to edit.
Specifically for this one-- It could be in my mind but I feel this anticipation build up. The ending is strong. Brings it home. I think to make it more powerful if that's what you were going for you might play with sensory descriptors of you walking into the coffee shop until the coffee is in your hands. playing with the sounds and smells to help the reader feel the anticipation in your body as you observe this girl and interact with her.
It's such a sweet piece.
-Steph
like the poem. love the fact it was in draft form for two weeks even more. letting it simmer… breathe… come into being. 😎🫶